From @gordonshumway December 26, 2009

If it weren’t for the microwaveable box from these Ore-Ida Fries
for One, the phrase “tear top off” wouldn’t ever cross paths with
my life.

Read Jelisa Castrodale’s Twitter feed at @gordonshumway

Originally posted on December 17, 2009

From @joegarden December 23, 2009

None of my enemies know that
I exist. That’s just how I like it.
That way, when they least expect it, POW! They get Gardened.

Read Joe Garden’s Twitter feed at @joegarden

Originally posted on November 30, 2009

From @lilwaynesworld December 14, 2009

i brought a bunch of singles to
the strip club but apparently girls
don’t like velveeta

Read Aimee Newell’s Twitter feed at @lilwaynesworld

Originally posted on March 8, 2009

From Josh Hopkins December 10, 2009

What’s the difference between Gary Busey and fruitcake? Fruitcake doesn’t always have
rum in it.

Read Josh’s Twitter feed at @thedayhascome

Originally posted on December 17, 2008