From @Nick

July 4, 2013 - 3 Responses

What does Gene Shalit wear when he needs to comically disguise himself?

Read Nick’s Twitter feed at @Nick

Originally posted on August 18, 2009

From @CranberryPerson

July 4, 2013 - Leave a Response

Don’t tell my wife, but the reason
I build elaborate sand castles and sculptures is to impress chicks. Success rate so far: very very poor.

Originally posted on June 18, 2009

From @tehawesome

July 4, 2013 - One Response

HENRY’S SPECIAL TRAIL MIX RECIPE: 1) Pour a bag of chocolate chips into a bowl 2) You have just finished making my trail mix.

Read Henry Birdseye’s Twitter feed at @tehawesome

Originally posted on May 12, 2009

From @JadAbumrad

July 4, 2013 - Leave a Response

premise for my 1st SciFi novel: it’s 2042, celebrity-obsessed America outlaws all babies conceived w/
sperm not from Clay Aiken

Read Jad Abumrad’s Twitter feed at @JadAbumrad

Original tweet posted on May 22, 2010

From @adamisacson

July 4, 2013 - Leave a Response

20 percent of Americans now
self-identify as Republicans. Which, coincidentally, is the percentage of dentists who recommend sugared gum.

Read Adam’s Twitter feed at @adamisacson

Originally posted on May 8, 2009

From @aubject

July 4, 2013 - One Response

Thought my 1920s apartment was cute & vintage when I moved in, now it’s just poorly insulated and enabling me to type this with my nipples.

Read Aubrey’s Twitter feed at @aubject

Original tweet posted on November 21, 2010

From @Nick

July 4, 2013 - Leave a Response

“With this haircut, I could be mistaken for a man of twice my self-esteem.”

Read Nick’s Twitter feed at @Nick

Originally posted on February 21, 2009

From @JeffHouck

July 4, 2013 - Leave a Response

Know how they dispatch elderly eskimos by pushing them out to sea on icebergs? In Sweden, they just leave grandpa in housewares at Ikea.

Read Jeff Houck’s Twitter feed at @JeffHouck

Originally posted on March 10, 2009

From @cakewrecks

July 4, 2013 - Leave a Response

I feel slightly ridiculous when someone asks for my PR contact. “Oh, that’s me, only wearing pants. Should I put pants on now?”

Read Jen Yates’ Twitter feed at @cakewrecks

Original tweet posted on March 17, 2010

From @theresa_lauren

May 1, 2012 - Leave a Response

I like my men the way I like my pizza: made of pizza.

Read Theresa Couchman’s Twitter feed at @theresa_lauren

Original tweet posted on February 23, 2012

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